Going to Church on a Tuesday

An All Saints' Stained Glass Window

An All Saints’ Stained Glass Window

 

I went to church this morning.

This is an unusual thing for me to do on a Tuesday morning.

But I’m grateful that my circumstances allow me to do so this year.

A year ago, Lynda was beginning her downhill slide with a vengeance.

Here is my journal entry on CaringBridge a year ago today.  I am so grateful that many of you followed our journey so faithfully.

===============

Monday, October 28, 2013

It’s been another quiet…calm…Monday at the condo today.This morning Lynda watched taped TV shows while Wally cleaned up the kitchen and did some computer work on his own life insurance.  This afternoon, Lynda took a SHORT nap and then we each had a cup of coffee and watched some more television.We tried to call Lynda’s mother, but she wasn’t home so we left a message.Tonight we plan to watch the 5th game of the World Series.Tomorrow Monique rejoins us on our weekly visits by the Visiting Angels.Lynda’s showing more energy and get-up-and-go…the farther you get from the infusions…I guess.  Our transfers from bed to toilet and back are much better now.  No risk for the firefighters in the last several days!Hope you are doing better.  We’re grateful for your love.
 =============
Sounds like one of our “good” days.
I can remember our nighttime calls to the DeKalb firefighters.  So very grateful that though highly embarrassed, Lynda never complained about the men coming into the house and helping her get back into bed.  Grateful not only for her…but for them and their service as well.
Lynda two years ago---on  October 21, 2012 at All Saints'

Lynda two years ago—on October 21, 2012 at All Saints’

I went to church today to deliver the check and the wording for the Sunday bulletin for the flowers that Elizabeth and I will give in Lynda’s memory on December 14th (the Sunday nearest Lynda’s death).

I promise a photo of the flowers on that date and more CaringBridge remembrances between now and then.

 

 

 

The Traveling Wedding Caps—2014 Friends and Family Tour (Part 2)

The second part of our Friends and Family Tour ended Wednesday when we returned to Birmingham after a trip of more than 2,500 miles.  We had lots of fun meeting friends and new family members.

As you can imagine, on a trip this long we took a lot of photos.  See where “THE CAPS” went on Part 2 of the Friends and Family Tour.

 

Crossing into Tennessee from Alabama on Friday, October 10th

First photo opportunity:  Wasn’t it nice of Tennessee to ‘welcome us’ on Friday, October 10?

At THE ARTS COMPANY, Nashville

A friend of Wally’s cousin owns  THE ARTS COMPANY  in downtown Nashville, Tennessee.  We needed help to get in!

At THE SOUTHERN FESTIVAL OF BOOKS---a more than 25-year tradition for Wally

We escaped briefly from our dry home in Wally’s car for this photo at the SOUTHERN FESTIVAL OF BOOKS.  This festival has been a favorite Buckner tradition for more than 25 years

On the Ohio River

At Paducah, Kentucky, we found a river (Ohio), some statues (representing the Lewis and Clark Expedition), and some quilts (behind closed doors).

At the National Quilt Museum in Paducah

We tried to get into the museum but it was not open yet so we just posed ourselves on this plaque

Visiting Wally's brother Mark and his wife, Kathy, in Arnold, Missouri

Our next visit was with Wally’s younger brother and his wife in Arnold, Missouri  After dinner they took Mark’s Brittany spaniel, Copper,  to Ted Drewes for a “doggie bowl” of frozen custard.  The humans had some too.

 

Frozen Custard from Ted Drewes, St. Louis, Missouri

Frozen Custard from Ted Drewes, St. Louis, Missouri…Yummmmmm!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The St. Louis Cathedral on October 13th

Wally put us here in the wind and pouring rain just to pose for this photo at the St. Louis’ cathedral

 

 

At the Churchill Museum in Fulton, Missouri where Winston Churchill gave his famous "iron curtain" speech

In the rain at Fulton, Missouri, we listened to Winston Churchill give his famous “iron curtain” speech.  We tried to follow his advice to “keep calm and carry on” (and dry!).

 

At the famous Blueberry Hill restaurant in St. Louis

At the Blueberry Hill restaurant, we watched Sheryl and Wally eat hamburgers, drink Fritz root beer, and play checkers using the little pink and yellow bags of fake sugar they found on the table.

 

 

At Wally's alma mater, William Jewell College, on October 15th

Wally’s alma mater, William Jewell College, welcomed us to the stage after Wednesday morning chapel

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At the Lewis and Clark Expedition statue in downtown Kansas City

We found Lewis and Clark…again.  From near this spot, they continued their trek up the Missouri River.  We wished them well!

 

At the renowned shuttlecock sculpture on the front lawn of the Nelson-Atkins Art Museum in Kansas City (sculpture by Claes Oldenburg and Coosje van Bruggen)

The shuttlecock sculpture on the front lawn of the Nelson-Atkins Art Museum in Kansas City (sculpture by Claes Oldenburg and Coosje van Bruggen) might be renowned, but we almost got squashed

 

At the fountain in the Plaza in Kansas City (water dyed blue in honor of the Kansas City Royals being in this year's World Series)

We sunned ourselves beside a fountain flowing with blue water in honor of the Kansas City Royals who earned their way into this year’s World Series

 

The journey was long between Kansas City and Murray, Kentucky.

At the Rend Lake rest stop in Illinois, we chatted with a woman practicing a routine on stilts.  But she was too tall for photos with us!

Rend Lake, Illinois

Rend Lake, Illinois

Dinner awaited everyone at Sheryl’s cousin’s house.  In Murray we rested while Sheryl and Wally toured Murray State University, recounted Churchill stories, saw former family homes and businesses, located tombstones…and ate catfish.

First Baptist Church, Murray. Kentucky

We lingered at First Baptist Church Murray, Kentucky where Churchills have worshipped for three generations

 

J. H. Churchill was Sheryl's grandfather

We hadn’t died but we wanted to see the sign at the J. H. Churchill Funeral Home—begun by Sheryl’s grandfather in 1886

The Baptist Student Center at Murray State University where Sheryl's father was the first student director

Since the students at Murray State University were in class no one bothered us.  We paused to remember that Sheryl’s father was the first student director here.

 

Enroute to another of Sheryl's cousins near Kuttawa, Kentucky

Fall colors and blue skies surrounded us as we traveled to visit Sheryl’s cousin in Eddyville, Kentucky

The Barkley Dam at Kentucky's Land Between the Lakes

We cuddled and romanced at the Barkley Dam, Land Between the Lakes, Kentucky

The KenLakes Resort Marina at the Land Between the Lakes

“Breakfast, Lunch, Pizza” were offered…but the restaurant didn’t serve caps!

An easy swing at the KenLakes State Resort Park

An easy swing at the KenLakes State Resort Park

 

We had a picnic and visit to the Meriwether Lewis burial site on the Natchez Trace parkway.

At the end of this fence was a yummy picnic…then a respectful visit to the Meriwether Lewis burial site on the Natchez Trace Parkway.

 

The Alabama Welcome Center near Huntsville on October 22nd

Although this Saturn rocket was stationary, we posed for a photo at the Alabama welcome center near Huntsville and moved on

Welcome back to the state where we started this leg of our journey

We dared ‘defend our right’ to have had a good time!

 

The miles we traveled…the farmland, fall colors and city sites we saw…the “recyclers” with whom we re-connected…the “newcomers” who became “keepers”…the PEOPLE who gave us their time and love encouraged us so very much.  Many thanks.

The third and final leg of the tour ends in Columbus, Ohio with a visit to Sheryl’s brother and his family for Thanksgiving.

Thanks for traveling with us!

Keep following THE CAPS!

The Traveling Wedding Caps—2014 Friends and Family Tour (Part 1)

About a month ago, Sheryl’s friend, Mary Helen, gave us our first wedding gift (see earlier blog with photo).  It was a sweet reminder of her love and affirmation of both of us.  We are very grateful.

On September 20, we began the 2014 Friends and Family Tour (Part 1) when we flew from Birmingham to Dallas/Fort Worth to see Sheryl’s sister and brother-in-law.  En route, we decided to let the caps tell the story of the more than 3,000 miles we flew and drove.  Follow the caps and they’ll show you where we went and some of the fun we had on the journey.

Thanks, Mary Helen!

Enjoy.

Where the tour began.

Where the tour began

Our first stop.

Our first stop.

Roanoke, Texas---home of Sheryl's sister and brother-in-law

Roanoke, Texas—home of Sheryl’s sister and brother-in-law

At the Texas Welcome Center en route to Fort Smith, AR to see 40-year friends---"keepers"

At the Texas Welcome Center en route to Fort Smith, Arkansas to see 40-year friends—“keepers”

Where Sheryl soaked up "being home" once again

Where Sheryl soaked up “being home” once again

At Arkansas Welcome Center outside Fort Smith

At Arkansas Welcome Center outside Fort Smith

At the Oklahoma Welcome Center

Entering Oklahoma

Denison, Texas---birthplace of Dwight Eisenhower

Denison, Texas—birthplace of Dwight Eisenhower

At THE Texas State Fair

At THE State Fair of Texas

Outside Bridgeport, Texas en route to Graham, Texas

Outside Bridgeport, Texas en route to Graham, Texas

Entering Graham, Texas

Entering Graham, Texas

Outside Graham, Texas

En route to First Baptist Church, Graham, Texas

At First Baptist Church, Graham, Texas, to visit with a long-time friend of Sheryl's and her family (pastor of this church)

At First Baptist Church, Graham, Texas, to visit with a long-time friend of Sheryl’s and her family.  Her husband is pastor of this church.

 

We spent Tuesday morning in Fort Worth visiting Sheryl’s old haunts before meeting friends from Lubbock, Texas for lunch.

At the Fort Worth Stockyards

At the Fort Worth Stockyards

Hoofprints at the Fort Worth Stockyards

Hoofprints at the Fort Worth Stockyards

The Cattle Pens at the Fort Worth Stockyards

The Cattle Pens at the Fort Worth Stockyards

Caps in a Tree Sheryl climbed as a child at her home on the campus of Southwestern Seminary

Caps in a Tree Sheryl climbed as a child at her home on the campus of Southwestern Seminary

Travis Avenue Baptist Church where Sheryl attended as a child and young woman

Travis Avenue Baptist Church where Sheryl attended as a child and young woman

At Paschall High School where Sheryl attended

At Paschall High School where Sheryl graduated

At the Woodshed Smokehouse Restaurant where three friends from Lubbock, Texas met us for lunch---AMAZING!

At the Woodshed Smokehouse Restaurant where three friends from Lubbock, Texas met us for lunch—AMAZING!

 

We spent our last night in Frisco, TX with Wally’s brother-in-law and his family but no “Caps Only” photos were taken!  Why?  In Wally’s excitement to take the photo of the caps with the mesquite wood pile, he walked off and left them behind!  After exploring a delivery company pickup, he decided to return the next day to the restaurant to retrieve them.  Sorry, Frisco!

Where the tour began...and ended

Where the tour began…and ended

Dinner Wednesday night after returning from Texas---at the Irondale Cafe

Dinner Wednesday night after returning from Texas—at the Irondale Cafe outside Birmingham

The miles we traveled…the West Texas vistas we saw…the “recyclers” with whom we re-connected…the “newcomers” who became “keepers”…the PEOPLE who gave us their time and love encouraged us so very much.  Many thanks.

The second half of the tour begins next Friday when we head to Franklin, Tennessee…St. Louis…Kansas City…and Murray, Kentucky.

Then we “rest” until Thanksgiving when the TOUR ends in Columbus, Ohio with a visit to Sheryl’s brother and his family.

Thanks for going along on the ride with us!  Keep following THE CAPS!

 

 

 

Wedding Caps Arrive at DFW

After departing EARLY Saturday morning, THE CAPS (and the two heads they reside on) arrived at the DFW airport.

We both received a warm welcome from Sheryl’s sister and brother-in-law. They are taking us to a BBQ dinner tonight with their Sunday School class.

Further updates forthcoming….

Wally

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WEDDING CAPS

One of Sheryl’s best friends took her to lunch last week. After a very good visit and a delicious lunch, she presented Sheryl with a gift—our first wedding gift—a gift for both of us.

Now, we are not expecting wedding gifts. In fact we are talking about how to combine two households into one.

But I thought this gift was so cute and novel that I had to share it!

We’re off to Dallas/Ft. Worth on Saturday to meet with and visit Sheryl’s sister and brother-in-law. Our 2014 Friends and Family Tour starts with this trip.

Watch for more coming soon!

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62.9 Miles—Point to Point

I-85 and I-20 Intersection in West Atlanta

I-85 and I-20 Intersection in West Atlanta

Mile number one of 62.9 miles began at I-285 at LaVista Road on the east side of Atlanta.

From that point, the journey went south toward the airport…all the way around Atlanta and back to the LaVista Road exit…point to point…62.9 miles.

Sometimes life is like that. We begin at mile number one of a long journey. Along the way we encounter people who come and go while others come and stay.

Some are “keepers—those who stay with you on your whole journey. They may be family or lifelong friends. But you know this: you can count on them to be there for you whenever you need them for anything.

Others are “short-termers.” These are people you meet along the way who come into your life but for whatever reason don’t stay connected. The demands of family, health or job take them away.

Then there are the “late-arrivers” or the “newcomers.” Even though they have entered your life only recently, they enrich you. You are grateful for the opportunity to have made their acquaintance.

Finally there are the “repeaters” or “recyclers if you want to use that term. While they were in your life at one point, you lost contact. At times they reappear—unannounced—like an unexpected plop.

That’s what happened to Sheryl and me.

Twenty-five years ago, Sheryl and I worked together on the same inter-agency team. I left the Home Mission Board and except for an occasional Christmas letter, we had no communication for the next 15 years. Then we reappeared in each other’s lives. More correctly, I should say that I plopped into her life. Her retirement plans took on a whole new direction.

My life with Lynda had made the 62.9 point-to-point-journey. With her death came her generous and heartfelt encouragement for me to intentionally “move forward.” Now it was obvious I was beginning a new phase in my life’s journey.

Sheryl and I have introduced several of our friends and acquaintances to each other. Though some of the “keepers” are “newcomers” to the other one, we hope they will become “keepers” for both of us. We are grateful for the gifts they contribute to our relationship. We hope they are willing to take a 62.9 mile point-to-point-journey with us.

Though both Sheryl and I are very surprised, we both believe that God has brought us together for this period of our lives.

So I’ve asked…and she has accepted…my proposal of marriage. Our wedding will take place next February in Birmingham.

In less than two weeks we begin the “Churchill-Buckner 2014 Friends and Family Tour.”   Our goal is to meet with and strengthen our ties with our far-flung “keepers,” reconnect with some “recyclers, and be on the lookout for “newcomers” with whom we each can collaborate and grow.

We start in Texas with Sheryl’s sister and brother-in-law. Then we will see my brother-in-law (Lynda’s brother Rob) and his family.

Stay tuned!

Moving Forward

In the last year my life has changed in significant ways.

For 16 months, Lynda and I—together with the medical professionals—battled her cancer. During this time, we relived many memories and both of us grieved.

Lynda was concerned about me “sitting in the back of the condo and withering away.” She frequently urged me to move forward in my life after she died. This was often not easy for me to consider but in the days following her memorial service I have made some attempts on three fronts.

First, I began to exercise regularly—swim actually. I don’t swim fast but I can swim long distances and times. It’s hard to believe but I’ve lost 90 pounds since many of you last saw me. I’m feeling well, looking good (my friends say “younger”), and wearing new clothes. My doctor says I either need to lose another 20 pounds…or grow four inches! So I continue to ride my recumbent bike and swim.

Second, I completed my summer choir experience and it was wonderful. Regular rehearsals got me out of the condo each week. From early June until early August, I rehearsed every Monday night with the 125 people who made up the Summer Singers of Atlanta. I have sung with many directors but Dr. William Baker was probably the best.  On Sunday afternoon, August 3rd, we sang Mozart’s Requiem along with several a cappella pieces composed by American composers who were contemporaries of Mozart. This was both a mentally and a physically challenging experience. Seven terrific friends attended the concert then we went to dinner afterwards. It was a very special day…something I will always remember.

Finally, I began dating a woman I worked with 25 years ago.  She and I had had almost no contact for the past 15 years. The sympathy card which she sent after Lynda died brought her back to mind. Her name is Sheryl Churchill.  She recently retired after serving 37 years on the staff of Woman’s Missionary Union in Birmingham where she still resides.  God has surprised us by bringing us into a new kind of relationship.   He’s done “abundantly far more than all we can ask or imagine” (Ephesians 3:20). She brings me much joy.  There will be more about Sheryl and me in the future.

I think Lynda would be proud of me on all these fronts.

Thanks for your continued interest in my life. I’m grateful to count you among my friends—and blog readers.

 

Sheryl Churchill

Sheryl Churchill

Remembering Mother on Her Birthday

Wayne and LaVerne Buckner. 1947, Asheville, NC

Wayne and LaVerne Buckner. 1947, Asheville, NC

Today my mother would have celebrated her eighty-eighth birthday if she hadn’t died nine years ago.

She was a student at Furman University when she met my father during student week at Ridgecrest Baptist Conference Center in the summer of 1947.

The photo on this blog was taken outside the Veteran’s Hospital in Asheville, NC. during the week they met.

Nearly 25 years ago, I wrote this poem about both of them. I share it today as a remembrance of my mother—Margaret LaVerne Travis Buckner (August 25, 1926 – June 13, 2005).

 

Great Expectations

As if at a Roman feast

two lovers recline

on freshly cut grass

before a wall of cascading roses.

 

Though only recently introduced

they appear relaxed and familiar

perfectly spaced and angled

according to the grammar

and syntax of their day—

fluent speakers of body language.

 

That gleam in their eyes

is my siblings and me

and I wonder:

            What were they doing

            just before their attention

            turned from each other

            to the photographer’s lens?

                      whispering?

                      kissing?

                      laughing?

                      dreaming?

 

From deep within their future

I return their gaze

and I wonder:

            Do they know that

            life comes randomly,

            that plans are made

            and not executed,

            that dreams are deferred

            by layoffs and tornados,

            unplanned pregnancies,

            adolescent waywardness,

            unfinished business?

 

Full of hope and promise

they cannot imagine a day

when she will play

             Primary Caregiver

to his

            Alzheimer’s Patient

And I wonder:

            How many times

            have they endured

            simply because they shared

            this time and place

            where, along with the roses

            their love

            sent down

            it’s first

            tender roots?

  

Wally Buckner

16 February 1990

 

 

Remembering you today, Mom!

A Teacher’s Shoes

Almost 45 years ago, Lynda began her teaching career by student teaching kindergarten at the elementary school up the street from my parents’ house. We were not yet married and—in fact—my sister Carolyn was a student in the kindergarten classroom across the hall from Lynda’s room.

Except for the years when our daughter Elizabeth was a baby or a preschooler, Lynda taught elementary students. She frequently served as a math specialist teaching children who needed extra assistance.

Her whole career, Lynda was concerned with her appearance. To her colleagues, her students, and her students’ parents, she wanted to look professional.

I’m mindful of this today because this afternoon two of her “teaching buddies” came to the condo and helped me go through all of her clothing.  All afternoon, while sorting and folding the clothes, they would say:   “Oh, I remember this one!”

Lynda's Clothes

Lynda’s Clothes

There were a few really dressy items—like the dress and shoes she wore to Elizabeth’s wedding.

There were many school T-shirts, sweatshirts, and jeans—what someone else might call “house clothes.”

But it was the clothes she wore when teaching (mostly Chico ‘s brand) that I remembered most intimately.

And her shoes.

Lynda's Shoes

Lynda’s Shoes

I’ve always been amazed by the number of pair of shoes that women seem to need. (I get by with only four pair—black dress shoes, burgundy penny loafers, boat shoes, and Nikes.)

But as I gathered her clothes in preparation for our work today, it was her “teaching shoes” that stayed on my mind.

They were mostly “flats” that could be easily worn with slacks or long skirts—as was her style. She would spend most of each school day on her feet…so they had to be comfortable.

She was always worrisome when a student in her classroom didn’t have good shoes or warm clothing.

I would regularly return home from my volunteer work at a children’s clothing ministry at our church with large trash bags filled with donated clothing that our clothing ministry couldn’t use. Lynda and I would sit on our living room floor and sort the very best of these items.  The next day, she would take small bags of clothing to school and give to deserving students she had spotted.  She occasionally had a pair of shoes she would offer.

For the last several hours, I’ve been thinking about the miles of walking done by these school teacher shoes. They carried Lynda through the morning darkness from her car to her classroom. They accompanied students to the restroom, the cafeteria, the gym—and occasionally to the principal ‘s office! And they took her to countless after-school teacher’s meetings.

But whatever their style and wherever they went, they were always on the job of helping students.

When I think of Lynda wearing these shoes, I’m reminded of Romans 10:15: how beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news (NIV).

Join me in dreaming about about a group of new, younger teachers who will receive some of Lynda’s shoes.

And give thanks that these shoes will help them walk lovingly into the lives of students as Lynda did.

Mozart Requiem Concert

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Sunday, August 3rd was D-Day!

After practicing all summer, the time had come.  It was performance day!

Choir, soloists, orchestra, and conductors arrived early for a brief check in.  Then the choir retreated to the chapel to await our time to enter the sanctuary.

We opened he concert with cappella pieces by American composers who were contemporaries with Mozart.  I loved these pieces!  Then the orchestra and a soloist did numbers and finally we got to the “piece of the day”…Mozart’s Requiem.

I know it was not done perfectly but it was done (I think) beautifully.  What a piece!

In the end, after the crowd’s cheers, we sang Mozart’s AVE VERUM CORPUS as a brief prayer/benediction/encore to the afternoon’s concert.

I entered this choir in early June as a means to challenge my brain (Mozart uses lots of notes as you know), my physicality (singing as written by the composer is often tough—an this was), and to give me a social outing (I had to get out of the condo every Monday evening for rehearsal).  It turned out to be all that.

When Elizabeth was in elementary school, she was in the Young Singers of Callenwolde.  When she would return for an alumni gathering, the alumni would ALWAYS pick what they thought was the hardest piece they had ever sung.  Their memories of the good performances following their hard works made this piece an all time favorite.

That’s what I felt yesterday.

At Baraonda Restaurant

At Baraonda Restaurant

 

(L to R):  Janet Speer, Frank Spper, me, Sheryl Churchill, Jane Bishop, Barbara Curnutt, Wayne Grinstead, and Claudia Dickers

(L to R): Janet Speer, Frank Spper, me, Sheryl Churchill, Jane Bishop, Barbara Curnutt, Wayne Grinstead, and Claudia Dickers

 

After a quick clothes change, I met seven friends who had come and “packed my pew”.  We all hugged, changed greetings and comments about the concert and then walked two blocks to Baraonda restaurant for a  delicious 90 minute meal of great food, lots of stories, much laughter and photographs.  I couldn’t have seven better friends.  I love them all.  Thanks to them for arranging their schedules and having an interest in this really wonderful music.

It’s an understatement to say, “a fun time was had by all.”  But that’s the truth.

Am checking on whether the concert has a recording of our performance.  If there is, I’ll let you know.